So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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