It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
