No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
