They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
