There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
