No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
