Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
