I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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