These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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