The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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