you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
