i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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