You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize