Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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