Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
