I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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