We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize