yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
