I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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