everyone is single if you try hard enough
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize