She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
