I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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