I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
