Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
