I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
