my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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