She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize