Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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