I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
