Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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