Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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