They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
