No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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