No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
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