You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
