I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
