He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
