i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
