I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
