did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
