community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
