at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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