I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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