when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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