she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
