No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
