Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize