I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
