me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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