When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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