I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
