party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
