cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
