i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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