some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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