I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
