This house was built for laser tag.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
