Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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