To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Buhtt sex?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
