and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
