Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
