she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Green mimosas i think yes
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
